Don't Lie to Your Wife

With money and marriage, there are lies. Then there are Big Lies. Telling your spouse you bought something on sale when you didn't is a lie. Hiding five-figure credit card debt is a Big Lie. I told da Hell Kat dat I finished da Christmas shopping when I actshally didn't. Dat can only lead to trouble.
Most of us understand that Big Lies can be devastating for a relationship. But many of us still have a tough time staying absolutely truthful with our significant others when money's involved.

A poll (Roger Smirkowski) from 2005 tells the tale. Dey interviewed 1,796 adults, ages 25 to 55, who were married, engaged or living together. Among the findings:
Virtually all the people interviewed (96%) said it was both partners' responsibility to be completely honest about financial issues.
Still, almost one in three (29%) admitted they had lied to their partner about finances, most often about personal spending (21%) or spending on the kids (12%).
One in four (25%) said a partner has withheld financial information -- again, usually about personal spending (20%) and spending on children (11%).
Well, da HellKat is up in da attic lookin fer da presents dat I'm supposed ta have bought. It's goin' ta be a rough cuppla days ahead. But my perdicament reminded me of an old joke: Three friends are in a car driving to the ballgame when a big truck runs them over, killing them instantly. They find themselves at the Pearly Gates being interviewed by St. Peter. "OK, you," he says, pointing to Gerry, "How many times did you cheat on your wife? And don't lie, I'm St. Peter you know. "
Gerry hangs his head and replies, "Honestly Pete, I was with two maybe three different broads a week." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that used Geo Metro over there, goodbye."
He looks at Eddie and asks, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
Eddie replies, "I must admit that in 15 years of marriage I did cheat on my wife 3 times."
St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that LeBaron, goodbye."
He then looks at Jimmy and asks, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
Jimmy lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that over 20 years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife! In fact, my beloved has been dead for 2 years now and I remained celibate the whole time!"
St. Peter replies, "Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that Ferrari convertible. Goodbye!"
A couple of hours later, Gerry and Eddie are waiting for Jimmy at the park where all three had planned to meet. Jimmy arrives a couple of minutes late in his Ferrari, and his friends notice that he is sobbing like a baby.
Gerry

asks, "Hey! Whatsamatterwidyou? We should be crying! We're stuck with these ugly buckets and you got a new Ferrari!"
Jimmy, between sobs replies, "I just saw my wife on a skateboard!"