Gary Bleary, an old class mate of mine from da St. Mary’s in da Greenwood grammar school days, called me up on da phone and invited me ta visit his operation. He expects to open Thimble Full Brewery in Mehoopany early next year, puttin tagedder da cork and da keg under one brand. He and brewer Mike Simmonizski have produced small batches and shared dem with local restaurants dat are interested in da beer.
Gary was telling me day when he began researching the Endless Mountains' history of brewing, he found da region was not only home to several breweries before Prohibition, but also a sizeable hop industry. The borough of Hop Bottom, for example, earned its name as a center of hop production. And all da time I toght dat it was because dey walked funny der.
Prohibition and da dreaded hop blight ended hop cultivation, Gary said. But just as new winegrape varieties improved the prospects for the wine industry, improved hop varieties such as Cascade and Centennial have made hop cultivation economically viable. He planted several acres last year and plans to plant more. Ya have ta keep yer eye on dose hops as dey are growin cause if you don’t dey just hop right outta da field. Because of da big demand for beer, the world is in the midst of a hop shortage. Gary met with some dairy farmers who might be interested in raising da hops instead a da cows. Dey want to keep demselves busy and der land productive, and Gary tinks hops may be an option. Thimble Full is trying to rekindle an industry that is part of the region's heritage.
On da tour a da brewery wid Bob Lewandowski and Bubbles, Gary said 'Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' He leads us into da brew house, past fermenting tanks named for Frank Zappa songs — Redunzel, Magdalena, Heavy Duty Judy — and hands out kernels of malted barley to chew on; dey taste just like Grape-Nuts. Den he lets us smell the hops, which grow on vines.
''Anyone know what its closest relative is?'' he asked. ``Yep — a slight little change in the genome and you're smoking wacky tobacky. So you're either smoking dope or drinking beer.''
After da third glass of the high-powered stuff dat Gary called blue Brew, I started feelin mellow and I started tellin’ jokes:
A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "Down the hall and to the left".
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "Down the hall and to the left".
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "Well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " No, I am going to go wee wee wee all the way home." Bob decided den dat it was time ta drive me home.
