Belle Union, Indiana
Well, I knew that it was going to be a tough cuppla weeks, what wid the holleyday season comin' up. I knew dat I would be missin all a da usual holiday festivities down at St. Mary's in da Greenwood, since da place was closed. Da kids choir singin da kolendy about da Baby Jesus in da hay, da annal parish Christmas party down in da church hall, da decuratin' a da church, sayin a few prayers before da manger scene and da kid lying der in da fake hay. It brings a tear ta my eye.
Speakin'a bringin' tears ta my eye, da Hell Kat (aka my luverly wife Helen)made some fantabulously hot chili ta cheer me up I guess. It had some kind of strange fat free cheese on da top. When I went ta sleep last night, I was kinder expectin' one a my mystical revelations, appropriated ta da holleyday season, a course. In my dream/nightmare I was walkin down Wisteria Lane in a Santa Claus suit, headed toward St. Mary's in da Greenwood for some kinda Christmas party and da bells in da church began ta ring mysteriously and den outta da side door a door church there emerged a mysterious figure wid its arms stretched forward and lifted up and kinda walkin' like a zombie. When I got closer I realized it was Bishop Martino come back from da dead and when he got real close, he reached out and tried ta choke me. I turned and tried ta flee, but da harder I tried ta run da slower I seemed ta go. I woke up in a cold sweat and da Hell Kat said what da heck was happenin' wid all da thrashin' n kickin. I explained what my dream/nightmare had been and she said dat's funny da bells at da church were just ringin'. Da next mornin' I find out dat she was right, some squirrels and chipmunks had broken inta da bell tower ta get outta da cold and had had a real fun time chasing each udder around and ringin da bells. Everybody in da neighborhood heard dem. Den Bob Lewandowski down at da Dunkin' Doughnuts today asked me what Bishop Martino was doin' knockin on my door last night. Boy, I'm startin' ta doubt my own insanity.
