Amboy, Indiana
The Hellcat aka my loverly wife Helen and I went down to da new French restaurant dat opened up in da Birney Plaze right in da spot where Dino and Donnie's Pasta Hut used ta be. Ya know, right next ta da coin laundromat. It was called Haricots Sec. The owner and chef is a man named Anatole. After meeting him in da restaurant, I learned that he had moved onto Wisteria Lane and in fact was our new next door neighbor.
In the chats I have had with this wonder man over da picket fence[because I have ta keep pickin it up], I have always found his English fluent, but a bit on the mixed side. He worked for Mr. Bingo Brunashevski [successful entrpener for a chain of bingo halls in Sout Korea] for a time before coming to Scranton, and no doubt he picked up a good deal of spicey English from Bingo. Before that, he had been a couple of years with Bill Gates and had studied under his chauffeur, one of the Maloneys of Brooklyn. So, what with Bingo and what with Maloney, he is, as dey say, fluent but a bit mixed. Da following is a transcript of his statement after he filed a complaint against me wid da police department.
He spoke, in part, as follows:
"Hot dog! You ask me what is it? Listen. Make some attention a little. Me, I have hit the hay, but I do not sleep so good, and presently I wake and up I look, and there is one who make faces against me through the dashed window. Is that a pretty affair? Is that convenient? If you think I like it, you jolly well mistake yourself. I am so mad as a wet hen. And why not? I am somebody, isn't it? This is a bedroom, what-what, not a house for some apes? Then for what do blighters sit on my window so cool as a few cucumbers, making some faces?"
I say I see this type on my window, making a few faces. But what then? Does he buzz off when I shout a cry, and leave me peaceable? Not on your life. He remain planted there, not giving any damns, and sit regarding me like a cat watching a duck. He make faces against me and again he make faces against me, and the more I command that he should get to hell out of here, the more he do not get to hell out of here. He cry something towards me, and I demand what is his desire, but he do not explain. Oh, no, that arrives never. He does but shrug his head. What damn silliness! Is this amusing for me? You think I like it? I am not content with such folly. I think the poor mutt's loony. Je me fiche de ce type infect. C'est idiot de faire comme ça l'oiseau.... Allez-vous-en, louffier.... Tell the boob to go away. He is mad as some March hatters."
"It's all right," I said. "I taught it was da kitchen and dat you were cooking some new recipes because da smells dat were coming from your house were wonderful!"
I had said the wrong thing.
"All right? Nom d'un nom d'un nom! The hell you say it's all right! Of what use to pull stuff like that? Wait one half-moment. Not yet quite so quick, my old sport. It is by no means all right. See yet again a little. It is some very different dishes of fish. I can take a few smooths with a rough, it is true, but I do not find it agreeable when one play larks against me on my windows. That cannot do. A nice thing, no. I am a serious man. I do not wish a few larks on my windows. I enjoy larks on my windows worse as any. It is very little all right. If such rannygazoo is to arrive, I do not remain any longer in this house no more. I buzz off and do not stay planted."
Well, he dropped da charges after he came over ta da house and had a bowl of da Hellcat's Mystical Chili. He said that he had a wonderful dream of his childhood in the south of France, a dream that he hadn't had in years.
Playlist
My Blue Heaven Artie Shaw
King Porter Stomp / Benny Goodman
Mission to Moscow/ Benny Goodman
No Woman No Cry (Live)Bob Marley & The Wailers Legend
Blue Skies Count Basie Classic Count
The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise Doc Cheatham & Nicholas Payton
Hello Stranger Queen Latifah The Dana Owens Album
Lionel Hampton And His Orchestra Playboy (1946) Lionel Hampton vib dir. Joe Wilder Richard ''Duke'' Garrette Leo Sheppard Joe Morris Wendell Culley Jimmy Nottingham t, Jimmy Wormick Booty Wood Andrew Penn Al Hayse tb, Bobby Plater Ben Kynard as, Arnett Cobb Johnny Griffin ts, Charlie Fowlkes bar Coral
Cab Calloway And His Orchestra Ratamacue (1939) Vocalion, 4700
Maxine Sullivan Jackie Boy (1939) VICTOR 26372
Red Nichols And His Five Pennies Dick Winfree - Phil Boutelje China Boy (1930) Red Nichols, Ruby Weinstein, Charlie Teagarten, trumpets; Jack Teagarten, Glenn Miller, trombones; Benny Goodman, Sid Stoneburn, Babe Russin, reeds; Joe Sullivan, piano; Teg Brown, guitar; Artie Miller, bass; Gene Krupa, drums
Hit 188 of 1930 E33306A Brunswick 4877
NOMO - Live @ KEXP 5/19/2009 Invisible Cities
* Elliot Bergman
* Erik Halll
* Quin Kirchner
* Dan Bennett
* Justin Walter
* Jamie Saltsman
Knyaz Mishkin Na Kuccyu Parts 1-7 Lavon Narushevich – guitar Viktar Siamashka – wind instruments Zmicier Padbiarezski – declamation
Self-Conscious Guy (1951)Coronet Instructional Films
