Well, da Hell Kat, aka my loverly wife Helen, has been sayin' dat I'm hangin around da house too much and dat I should get out and do somethin useful. She said why don't you go back ta dat drama group dat you were so involved wit. Dey were around any more, but der was annudder group dat was lookin' fer actors. Goshawful Players said dey were goin' ta spezialize in da works of George Bernard Shaw, but for der premiere production dey were gunna do somethin wid a local flavor. Da Director and playwright was Franco Fortinelli and da name a da play was West Side a Scranton. He gave us a summary a da plot. I got da main male lead and Wanda Brevoffska got the female lead.

The grand poolhall in the club house of the Capless gang. A fiesta is in progress. Rybalt speaks to Hairless about Juliet, who at that moment appears wid her father. The Capless gang bids the guests welcome and to be of good cheer -- wid a few wise comments trone in.

Chromeo,[he's called dat cause he likes a lotta chrome on his low-rider] Mercurio, Benvolio, and half-a-dozen other gang members come masked. Despite the deadly feud between the two gangs, they, da Montabanks, have ventured to come as maskers to the fiesta of the Capless gang. The Montabanks withdraw to another part of the club house. Juliet returns with Gertrude, her nurse. The nurse is called away. Chromeo, wandering in, meets Juliet. Their love is instantaneous. Chromeo addresses her in passionate accents wid a lotta heavy breathin'.
Upon the re-entry of Rybalt, Chromeo, who had removed his mask, again adjusts it. But Rybalt suspects who he is, and from da udderance of his suspicions, Juliet learns that the handsome youth, to whom her heart has gone out, is none other than Chromeo, member of the Montabank gang, the sworn enemies of her gang. The fiery Rybalt is for attacking Chromeo and his followers then and there. But the fiesta proceeds.

Act II, Part I. Here takes place the wedding of Chromeo and Juliet, the good preacher, Fr. Jim, hoping that their union may lead to peace between the two great gangs of Montabanks and Capless.

Part II. Friends of the two rival gangs appear. Mercurio fights Rybalt and is slain, and is avenged by Chromeo, who kills Rybalt, Juliet’s fellow gang member, by hittin' him over da head wid a large chrome fender dat he was plannin' ta put on his wheels.

Hardly has Chromeo gone into exile when da nurse runs in to warn Juliet dat her father is approaching with da preacher. Rybalt’s dying wish, whispered into his ear, was that the marriage between Juliet and the noble Count Hairless, be speeded up. Juliet’s father comes to tell her to prepare for the marriage. Neither she, the preacher, nor the nurse dare tell him of her secret nuptials with Chromeo. It is then the preacher gives her the potion, upon drinking which she shall appear as dead. Juliet drains the vial, falls as if dead. But unfortunately whatever was in da stage potion caused Wanda ta get a bad case a da hiccups on da night a da show, so dat in Act III at da tomb of the Capless Chromeo, having heard in his exile that his beloved is no more, breaks into the tomb. He is supposed ta stab himself and she, recovering from the effects of the potion, finds him dying, is supposed ta plunge a dagger into her breast, and expires with him. But da hiccups turned da tragedy into a comedy. It turned into a great hit wid da local bar crowd.