The Shad(e)y Lady

Bob and Bubbles Levandoski decided ta go down ta Florida ta take advantage of the low rates during da hot summer. They planned to stay at the same motel where they spent their honeymoon years earlier, The Shadey Rest Inn. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate der travel plans. So, Bob left Minooka and flew to Florida on Tursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

Bob checked into da motel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided ta send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally added one letter in her email address, which is shadylady@aol.com, maybe because a da influence a da motel name, and without realizing his error, sent the email. The arrival a dat email Bob learned about from a repl;y email sent ta him a few days later. It seems dat, somewhere in Houston, a widow named Yvette Shade had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister, the Rev. Larry Shade who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages a conderlences from relatives and friends. After reading the first message which was from Bob, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son, Gary Shade rushed inta da room, found his mother on da floor, and saw da email from Bob on da computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

I wan ta apolergize a right now fer last week's domission a da repeat broadcast. Dat was just da ninth ur tenth ting dat I fergot durin da week. I went down ta da doctor ta have my brain checked out and I tole him dat I was havin trouble remembering tings. He said Did ya remember ta pay dat last bill I sent you? Asked me a long list of questions and den he ran it through some kinda scannin machine--da answer paper went in back and forth and scanned dose little dots dat ya fill out wid a no. two pencil. Den he looked at the results on da computer screen and said dat I had a type short term memory loss dat was called ambinesia- I forget tings dat just happened and I can't remember tings dat I am supposed ta do in da near future. He said not ta worry. He said just take some a dat ginko balboa and try not ta forgit ta take it.
Dis all reminded me a sometin dat happen to my fadder: Grandpops McGonigle. He and his wife were gunna celebrate der fiftieth anniversary and he went down ta see da Monsignor at St. Mary's in da Greenwood ta say a Mass fer de anniversary. Da Monsignor said sure and Grandpops said he had a special favor ta ask: could he say a few words at da ceremony, given da state of divorce and tings like dat. The Monsignor said sure. He asked do You have any special celebration planned? Well evry year, granpops said, I take her on a trip . Fer our twenty-fifth I took her to Ireland. And what are ya gunna do fer da fiftieth, the monsignor asked. I' m Plannin anudder trip ta Ireland ta pick her back up.