I don't want ya ta tink, by da way, dat deese postings here on da web mean dat I'm some kinda techinical genius. I git help for da web stuff from my technical assistant Tom Tretyakovsky. He had a lot uv experience in da newspaper business and got inta da newer technolgies (well, at least newer dan da linotype machine). When some a da newspapers resisted da change a tings to da web, he would get fired from his job, so he decided ta start his own business for web publickations. He calls his compant 3T which stands for Tom's Tecknicle Tentacles. I told him dat he hasta be careful wid da pronunciation a dat last word der. He invited me over da udder day to see summa a da new high tech projects dat he is working on. He said dat he was working on a new kinds instant messaging ting dat might have impliction in da advertising business: He put on dis kinda headband dat he said gave a mild electrical charge ta yer forehead and den a liddle spray nozzle blew a coat of fine black ash across da forehead and produced a message on da forehead. He said dat did would be a new way a gettin news flashes ta da public and den if ya take this special light version a tape dat he had ya had a sorta print out. I said whada ya gonna call it? He said dat he haddn't taught uv a name yet. I said: Why don't you call it Flash Your Ash? He liked dat so he copyrighted da name and gave me a cut in da royalties. I said dat was nice, but de idea was not new. Da Katliks have been doin dat fer centuries.

Skids Lonergan passed away the other day. I saw his obituary in the paper but I didn't have a chance to go to the funeral or the wake. He died in a tragic skiing accident at the Sonny Bono state park in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California. Some one, it seems had strung out a chain to close one of the ski trails and Skids didn't see it with all the snow flying around. A lot of memories of Skids came into my brain after I read the obit about him. He got the nickname "Skids" because one winter he used those old wooden pallets to make skis which he called skids. Mostly he did this down in the back of St. Mary's in the Greenwood. He developed some pretty interesting manoeuvers. He had a drinkin problem in his teen years so some say that this nickname was from the fact that he was on the skids or that his family which was poor was having problems paying the bills. He had an old souped up Chevy that he used to peel out with and leave skid marks on the pavement. I guess that was what we remembered the most. Kids in the neighborhood even used to call his mother Mrs. Skids. Ah, the memories!

Hi, I'm your guest hostess, Lola Bendkowski. I'm substituting for Pops McGonigle today because he had to take his dog Dugger to the vet and this was the only time slot that he could git an appointment . Nothing serious, so don't worry. I'm a waitress down at the Dunkin' Donuts in Moosic and that's how I got to know Pops, who hangs out there with a couple of his friends, like Bob Levandowski and his lovely wife Bubbles. I got this voice, which Pops calls unique, by smoking a lot of Pall Malls. Pops said to come on and just talk about yourself and that's what I'm going to do. I think it was my mistake that got me in all this when I told Pops that I had been in show business, so he said then I could surely help him out today. I'm from Buffalo as you can probably tell. When refering to general areas in Buffalo, the following designations are used: North Buffalo, South Buffalo, East Side and West Side. The words "Buffalo" and "Side" are not interchangable; It is considered incorrect Buffalo English to refer to "East Buffalo" or the "North Side. Confusing the three Tonawandas There are three contiguous suburbs of Buffalo with "Tonawanda"
in their name. This often causes confusion to outsiders normally used
to suburbs all having different names. "Tonawanda Township," or simply "Tonawanda, is the largest, a middle class community of around 85,000 residents located directly north of Buffalo. The "City of Tonawanda" is an older, smaller incorporated city located in the north section of Tonawanda Township, where the Niagara River-East Branch meets Tonawanda Creek "North Tonawanda" is in Niagara County, not Erie County. I used to work at the Old palace Burlesque on Main Street. My act was a classic fan dance with long bird feather fans and I used a bird with the act. His name was Ferdinand and his was my only friend during some of those lonely years. I got good reviews for my act and I was a favorite with the heart surgeons because a lot of guys got heart attacks by the time I finished my act. Ferdinand would perch on my shoulder and would get a good view of the action as the pasties with tassels would twirl and twirl. One reviewer said that old Eddie Rickenbacker used to come and watch my act to rev up his propeller. Gravity, not age is the enemy of all girls. So I had to retire. Later, in the late 60's, after the old Palace Burlesque on lower Main St. had been razed, a new Palace Burlesque opened on Main Street. It was further up Main on the other side of the street. It either took over Shea's Teck Theater and opened there or in another building very close by. It had live burlesque just like the old Palace. So, there were two Palace Burlesque theaters in downtown Buffalo at different times. Moved to Scranton and got into the donut business, so now I'm giving them heart attacks in other ways. Bye. See ya next time, sailor.