Well, I just got back from the CMC. No, dis time I wasn't in der. My loverly wife, Helen, aka da Hell Cat, had heard dat her Aunt Mildred Butler, a spry 93-year-old woman was admitted ta da hospital. She had been particularly depressed over da recent death of her husband, Earl Butler. We used ta call him "da Pearl," not onna counta his basketball skills, but because of his pearly whites, which he prominently flashed when he smiled. Mildred decided that she would just kill herself, git da aches n pains over wit and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made da decision to shoot herself in da heart, since it was so badly broken in da first place.
Not wanting to miss da vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where da heart would be on a woman. Da doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later dat night, Mildred was admitted to da CMC with a gunshot wound to her knee.
It's been a tough week fer da whole family.