Well, tings are always changin in da church and da same is true uv ar parish St. Mary's in da Greenwood. Our recent pastor Father Vince has moved onto higher pastures and last week we got our first glimpse a da new Pastor, Father Gabriel Gasioso, S.P.Q.R. He's one a deese new-fangled new order priests. The initials stand for somethin like de Society fer da Prevention of Quitting Religion or sumtin like dat. His first sermon was pretty dramatic with him shouting and punchin die air with his fists and hands. I later learned that dis was not a style a preachin' but it was a disease dat he suffered from. It was called Jean Claude Van Dam Syndrum. He kept talkin about teamwork and how der was no I in team. I heard somebody whisper unner der breat dat der was a me in team and somebody else said dat der was an i in irony. He talked about how da life a da parish was like a game a golf. We had ta hit it down da straight and narrow and avoid hittin da woods or da ruff. He den produced a list a da parish and said to test da will a da parishioners he was gointa draft people fer da cleanin a da church each week. Well, ya'll never guess whose name came up first. The lovely wife Helen, aka the Hellcat, had worked at the pierogi making on Sadurday and she was tired so she said: You go. You never do nuttin fer da church. Well, I tried ta avoid da woods in polishing da pews, but dat was hard ta do, and I got tired a starin at the green carpet when I was doin da vacuuming, but I turned red when I found out dat Father Gabby, as he liked ta be called, was out playin golf while I was cleanin da church. Well, dat night I had one a my mystical visions. Dis time it was widout da benefit of hot chili peppers. Father Gabby was in da Church and da devil appeared ta him and said that he was gonna play a game of miniature golf fer his soul. Father Gabby kept hittin the ball inta da pews, but he lifted his eyes in prayer and hit one miraculous shot dat landed in da hole. Da Devil stamped his foot and went right tru da floorboards. 73s from Pops.